Sideshow Alley Read online

  The short rest was welcome after the day’s events. The others followed, although they were content to sit around and talk about the flight before freshening up and going back to the mess. The film wasn’t really of importance to them that night, it was more about socialising. Colin wanted to get to know Alpha Wing a little better and have a word with Johnny. Tiddles and the others were doing the same with their respective wings—getting to know the fellows they would be counting on in battle.

  The film started without anyone aware that it had—the beer and chatter flowing as new friendships were forged. The tables where the older fighters usually sat were vacant and Colin wondered why.

  He felt a tap on his shoulder, ‘Mr Colin Oscopy?’

  ‘Who wants to know?’

  ‘John. We sort of met this afternoon.’

  ‘Good, I’ve been waiting for you. Do you drink at all?’

  ‘A little,’ John replied.

  ‘Great! Go and get yourself a beer and we’ll have a chat.’

  Colin watched as the legionnaire walked over to the beer-point. Apart from his fear of flying he seemed the same as the other recruits around.

  ‘So how did you go afterwards?’ he asked John, when he returned.

  ‘A little better—just by holding the cannon and sighting took my mind off things, I guess.’

  Colin nodded, ‘I was out in a boat once and there was a fellow who was seasick so the skipper put him on the tiller. It worked like a charm. How do you think you’ll go in practice—we’ve only got a week?’

  John shrugged, ‘Hopefully a little better.’

  ‘What about in battle when your pilot and others in your wing will depend on you for protection?’

  John’s expression changed to one of surprise, ‘I’m not scared of battle at all. It’s my fear of flying that’s the trouble.’

  ‘Then it’s a pity they don’t have chewing gum up here,’ Colin said. ‘The great thing about it is that when you chew the gum it takes your mind off other things. Sucking a stone has the same effect,’ he added, and offered up the handful of small yellow fruit.

  ‘What are they?’

  Now it was Colin’s turn to shrug, ‘The cook did say, but I forget and it’s anyone’s guess what planet they’re from. The important thing is the seed inside them.’

  John looked at Colin worriedly as he continued, ‘Eat the fruit or throw it away, but keep the seed and suck on it as you would a small stone. The human mind can only dwell on one thing at a time—it’s as simple as that. Take some seeds with you on your next flight and see how they go.’

  A light came on in John’s eyes as he realised the implication. He picked one up and ate the flesh from around the seed.

  ‘Mm, not bad,’ he said, and then inserted the seed back into his mouth for a trial run. ‘I see what you mean. Thanks,’ he said, and pocketed the seed along with the rest of the fruit.

  The two sat drinking and chatting afterward about various aspects of life onboard.

  A hostess walked by and Colin called her over.

  ‘Have you met Queenie, John? Hostesses are another excellent way to de-stress.’

  Queenie went behind John and placed her hands on his shoulder blades, working her thumbs deep into the muscle there.

  ‘You are tight, very tense indeed,’ she purred.

  ‘Take him with you,’ Colin told her, ‘and when he’s done, come back for me.’

  Queenie flashed Colin a smile as John downed the rest of his drink and allowed himself to be led away.

  The crews had settled somewhat by morning and breakfast was more subdued, although the rumour regarding Red Alpha One was still doing the rounds. At 0800 hours the Colonel strode through the doorway and on up to the lectern.

  ‘Listen up! Today’s itinerary will consist of battle tactics throughout the morning. By midday we will have arrived at a place known as The Rock, where we’ll be staying for as long as it takes to whip you all into shape. We will be orbiting above it in order to give you the same conditions as the real thing, minus the enemy fire of course. And have no fear—The Rock is an uninhabited, godforsaken place, so anything you do out there will not harm it.’

  ‘Yesterday’s introductory flight seemed to go smoothly, however there was one glitch. Has that been taken care of?’ the Colonel asked, and searched the faces in front until he found Kyla.

  She looked over to Colin before replying and he nodded reassuringly.

  ‘Yes Sir, it has,’ she replied.

  ‘You seem unsure,’ the Colonel replied.

  Colin stood up, ‘That would be my fault, Sir. I haven’t had a chance to convey to Red Alpha One that her directive was carried out last night.’

  ‘And that was?’

  ‘It was imperative that we follow through and counsel the Weapons Officer of Green Charlie Five. We also instituted a plan of action and de-stressing.’

  ‘Did you do that personally?’ the Colonel asked. His enquiry caused an eruption of laughter from the crews about.

  ‘All except the de-stressing, Sir. I believe Queenie can take credit for that.’

  ‘That’s good. However I still want to see both of you here, now—Captain!’ The Captain took his place at the lectern.

  The Colonel waited until Kyla and Colin fronted him before leading them through the doorway and out into the corridor.

  ‘So how is it working out so far, have you two settled your differences?’

  ‘Yes Sir,’ they both answered.

  ‘There now, that wasn’t so hard. Why couldn’t you have said that yesterday?’

  Both remained silent.

  ‘Okay, you may rejoin your squadron.’

  Curious eyes followed them as they reclaimed their seats.

  The Captain stopped talking for a moment before resuming, ‘As I was saying, unmanned drones will be deployed to test you throughout. This afternoon will be a dry run, but as of tomorrow everything will be live. Is that understood?’

  ‘Also while we’re training here, the last part of each afternoon will be spent in the gym. All wings will field four teams for a knockout ball game with the winner to be determined before we leave. Last year the honours went to the pilots of Green Delta—so you can see it’s a very open affair.’

  The Captain handed over to the Team Leaders, who explained the Battle Screen and graphics on the Visual Display Units installed in the fighter craft. The graphics were multi-dimensional, showing grid lines on the same plane plus above and below, each line graduated to represent 50 metres of space. It enabled both the Pilot and Weapons Officer to tell at a glance who was where on the battlefield and from which direction they were coming. After the VDU’s were de-mystified the Team Leaders took it in turns to deliver battle strategies throughout the morning. They included actual footage to prepare everyone for what was to come and finished the lessons just prior to midday.

  Colin sat with the boys in the mess at lunchtime as usual and when Kyla was served she joined them also.

  ‘I want to thank you for this morning,’ she told Colin, before asking, ‘did you really do all of those things?’

  ‘But of course,’ he replied. He looked around the mess quickly before dropping his eyes to the food on his plate.

  ‘You realise there is a fair bit of scuttlebutt flying around about us?’

  Kyla looked up also and noticed the abnormally high amount of interest from pilots and recruits alike, including Eric.

  ‘I see what you mean. I’ll deal with it later.’

  ‘You’ve met everyone before, haven’t you?’ Colin asked.

  Kyla looked at the boys and nodded.

  ‘It seems that if I don’t work out the Colonel is going to replace me with Pee Wee.’

  Kyla looked at Pee Wee’s boyish features.

  ‘Now that would be something to look forward to, he’s so cute. Is he toilet-trained?’

  The table around them erupted in laughter again and Pee Wee lowered his eyes while waiting for it to subside. When it di
d they talked of the coming flight and he hung on their words—putout that he had come so far and wasn’t able to enjoy the ultimate experience. He asked Kyla if it would be possible to go for a flight also and she told him that she would petition the Colonel on his behalf. The P.A. came alive with a flurry of commands for special duty men to muster, alerting the ship’s company to the fact that the Carrier had arrived at its destination.

  All of the flight crews reported early in anticipation of the next flight. The pilots made sure of their craft before giving their fighters more last minute instruction. Johnny stood by his craft sucking on the fruit seed furiously while his pilot looked on unimpressed.

  Colin joined them, ‘So how are you going so far?’

  ‘So-so,’ Johnny replied, whereupon Colin leaned over and whispered in his ear. He stopped sucking the seed and his jaw dropped momentarily before resuming again—only this time it was slower and more deliberate.

  ‘Now that’s something to think about,’ he said.

  The details of the coming exercise were announced over the P.A., followed by the two-toned warning siren. The crews took to their craft and Red Alpha sat waiting patiently for the lights to change. Seconds later they hurtled down the ramp and out to the forming-up area to await Bravo and Charlie wings, while Pee Wee looked on enviously from his vantage point in one of the many gun turrets above.

  Colin engaged the visual display unit and saw that six drones had been deployed in their sector of defence, so he told Kyla to make a pass on the port side. She banked and led the column past them while the fighters trained their laser cannon on the drones, unable to fire.

  ‘They’re sitting ducks,’ Colin complained.

  ‘What are ducks?’

  ‘Do those things move at all?’

  ‘I believe so. The Team Leaders will be up there having loads of fun trying to out-manoeuvre us.’

  Just as predicted, the drones were deployed further on the second run, so Kyla ordered Bravo and Charlie to account for two apiece as they darted around space. The crews enjoyed a thorough workout as the pilots tried to stay with the drones so their fighters could target them effectively.

  It was a frustrating introduction—the pilots and fighters on edge and perspiring as the Team Leaders manipulated the drones to put them through their paces. Orders were given and then countermanded seconds later when the targets went the opposite way. Towards the end Colin understood what was happening—the bastards were listening in and doing the opposite to what each wing was saying. Still, it was a good introduction—the drones occasionally moving between craft to compromise their arc of fire and employing numerous other tricks that could be used against them.

  Elsewhere the other squadrons were experiencing similar conditions, while the swirling mass of cloud covering The Rock would part occasionally to reveal a glimpse of the barren wasteland below and jolt memories of their own far-off planet. Finally the practice was over and the squadrons returned to the Carrier—Red Alpha One being the last to go aboard.

  ‘Whatever you said to Green Charlie Five’s Weapons Officer it seems to have worked,’ Kyla said, as they secured the craft.

  ‘All the same, you’d better check with his Pilot as to the outcome,’ Colin advised.

  The Alpha crew hurried to their respective quarters to change before joining the others in the gym. When Kyla arrived she attracted howls of derision and whistles from the surrounding Weapon Officers, but surprisingly none from the pilots, who were a little more subdued. She wore black track pants plus a white t-shirt and while not overly endowed, her femininity and beauty shone through.

  ‘What’s wrong with them?’ she asked Colin.

  ‘Nothing—they’re just being men. Haven’t you noticed that you’re the only female within Cooee?’

  Captain Jorgen arrived along with the Team Leaders—all dressed in white gym attire. He blew a whistle to get their attention before going on to explain the rules of the game they were about to play.

  ‘Do you know this game?’ Kyla asked.

  Colin nodded, ‘Back home we call it volleyball.’

  ‘Red Alpha, Delta, Golf and Juliet Wings are up first—pilots versus Weapons Officers. The rest of you will train individually or exercise with the Team Leaders while waiting,’ the Captain explained.

  Colin and his four compatriots faced off against Kyla and her fellow pilots, who were skilled in the game. The pilots’ athleticism shone through and Kyla’s killer instinct came to the fore as they trounced the untrained earthmen. It was the same with the other wings, the pilots were just too good—but given the Weapon Officers’ lifestyles back on earth it came as no surprise.

  Kyla took the opportunity to talk to the pilot of Green Charlie Five afterwards. He told her the transformation had been complete and he was more than happy with his Weapon Officer’s performance that day. She passed the information on to Colin, who smiled knowingly.

  ‘The pilot said you spoke to John again, just before they took off. What did you say?’

  ‘I told him that I spoke to Queenie after she saw him last night and booked him in for a more thorough treatment.’

  ‘You saw Queenie last night, too?’

  Colin nodded, ‘She’s exceedingly good at what she does you know. In fact the way you’ve been acting lately, you could do with a session with her as well.’

  Kyla looked at him incredulously, ‘How do you mean?’ she snapped.

  ‘Well, you’re so wound up—you could use some de-stressing yourself.’

  He put a hand on Kyla’s shoulder and she jumped back.

  ‘I really don’t think so,’ she told him.

  Later that night Kyla watched as Queenie tapped Johnny on the shoulder before walking off with him. She looked further around the mess, but Colin was nowhere to be seen.

  Hard Yards

  Day five started in the usual way—with one exception. Ten minutes before the first lesson was due to start Kyla went to the lectern and turned on the mike.

  ‘Could I have your attention please,’ she said, and waited a moment before continuing. ‘It has been brought to my attention that there is some talk doing the rounds concerning my Weapons Officer and myself. To set the record straight, something I said was taken out of context, but to read anything else into it would be foolish and petty. I may be female, but I assure you I’m here for one reason only. So if any of you feel the need for someone to hold your hand, go see a hostess—that’s what they’re there for.’

  Kyla looked over to Colin.

  ‘Have you anything more to add?’ she asked.

  He shook his head, so she turned back to her audience, ‘Thank you,’ she said, and turned the mike off before reclaiming her seat.

  Those in the mess resumed what they were doing and talked amongst themselves. To the Zylon Pilots it was a clear-cut rebuttal of everything that had been said and they accepted it—but the earthmen were more sceptical and of the opinion that where there was smoke, there was fire.

  Colin sat contemplating the announcement and although he had initiated it, he somehow felt a shift in his working relationship with Kyla. He came to the conclusion that it didn’t really matter. Nothing mattered any more—except for the end game of course.

  Captain Jorgen entered the mess five minutes later. He congratulated everyone on the previous day’s performance, both in the gym and with the drones. Afterwards the Team Leaders gave more lessons on tactics to both the Pilots and Weapon Officers.

  Vince stepped forward and said, ‘Imagine if you will, a small speck coming at you from out of the centre of a sun. Only it’s not a speck, it’s a Lizard fighter with a squadron behind him. Another ploy is to target individuals and lure them between one of their wings.’

  Colin’s hand shot into the air, ‘What are their pilots and fighters really like? Are they superior, instinctual or what?’

  ‘The next lesson includes more actual footage. You might do well to pay attention to the Lizard craft as well as our own. I might add that th
is particular action occurred only months ago and was a turning point for us—we held on and repelled them, but since then they have been regrouping. You will have a live firing session using cannon only before lunch and another straight after,’ Vince advised them. Afterwards the area adjacent the lectern lit-up with the nominated footage.

  The battle shown was a particularly bloody one. Craft from both sides disintegrated before their eyes, while others were incapacitated and blasted at will—the lucky ones tumbling uselessly from battle. It seemed that the Lizards preferred to fight in packs to overwhelm the Legion fighters where possible, and until broken up were a formidable foe. It also highlighted the Lizard’s single-mindedness in achieving their objectives. That, along with the arsenal at their command, made it abundantly clear that it was down to tactics used on the day. Towards the end of the footage the launch siren wailed to scramble the flight crews from the mess.

  Kyla waited until Colin was seated before climbing aboard to power-up her craft. Afterward she made contact with the other pilots in her squadron and waited expectantly for the lights to change—seconds later the fighters exploded from the Carrier like so many bullets from a gun. She viewed the drones on the visual display while waiting at the forming-up-point and then once the squadron was assembled, led them up towards the sun before turning lazily and screaming back down towards the targets.

  Colin raked the drones with fire from the laser cannon, to no effect. The drones separated again, so Charlie and Bravo wings peeled away, the three wings in pursuit of the elusive targets in their sector of the mock battlefield. The other three squadrons practiced in their own areas of responsibility, all a lather of perspiration from practicing under the hot sun until Command finally ordered them to return to the ship.