Sideshow Alley Read online

  ‘No, you fellows go. I think I’ll give it a miss.’

  After they had gone Colin hopped down from his bunk. He was much too excited to sit and watch replays, no matter how good they were. Here he was on a spaceship somewhere up in the heavens and his curiosity was bubbling over. It was as if he had been in darkness all his life and now a light switch had been thrown to show him life’s endless possibilities.

  He left his quarters and wandered aimlessly over parts of the ship he’d been shown so far and finally ended up at the planetarium. It was in darkness, except for the small green lights embedded in the decking to guide crew-members to the modular viewing chairs. Colin sank back into a chair, set back from the armour-plated viewing glass and gradually became absorbed while staring at the faraway pinpricks of light that were stars. Suddenly there was movement in the room. Someone had entered and Colin could see Kyla’s reflection on the glass as she walked towards him—her greenness glowing luminescent, courtesy of the deck lighting.

  ‘Hello Kyla,’ he said, causing her to jump back.

  He turned his chair to face her and looked up worriedly, ‘I’m sorry if I startled you.’

  Kyla froze, ‘And you are…?’

  ‘Colin. Ralph introduced us last night, remember?’

  She relaxed visibly, then seated herself and turned to face him.

  ‘Yes, but how did you know it was me just then?’

  ‘I saw this vision of loveliness walking towards me—a Green Goddess and thought it must be you,’ he said, laughing.

  Kyla looked at the plate glass instead of through it and saw her reflection. She realised what he meant and thanked him for the compliment.

  ‘Don’t thank me. It’s what they call you in the mess.’

  ‘And not you?’

  ‘Maybe, but it looks like Eric has got things wrapped up in that department, so I don’t worry unduly.’

  Now it was Kyla’s turn to laugh, ‘I’m sure he thinks so, too. Tell me, why are you here in the planetarium and not with your friends?’

  ‘I’m just trying to re-evaluate space. Until two days ago I never knew that you or the ship existed—and I certainly didn’t know that it was perpetual darkness up here. How do you see the enemy to fight them?’

  ‘You saw the newsreel last night. Most of the fighting is done above some unfortunate planet after the Lizards have invaded—so it’s done while bathed in the light from its sun. Otherwise it doesn’t matter—we have the means to identify our own fighters in a conflict.’

  Colin nodded his head knowingly, ‘So why are you here then, if you know all the answers?’

  ‘Just for some alone time—a bit of breathing space away from Eric and the boys—if it’s answers you’re after you should be looking in the library. Come, I’ll show you.’

  Kyla rose from her seat and led the way. He watched how she held herself—confidently and erect. Her shoulder length black hair was combed straight, Cleopatra style, while her body left a wake of perfume from some unknown exotic bloom to tantalise him.

  ‘Now what is it you wish to know?’ she asked, on reaching the library.

  ‘Everything of course—how many different races are there in the Universe, where do they come from? Are all the girls on Zylon as pretty as you?’

  ‘Actually they’re prettier. I was always a tomboy,’ Kyla confessed.

  ‘The other information you want can be found in the Lexicon of Known Planets, although the Universe is a very big place. We stay mostly within the confines of our own Galaxy. They are still finding new ones and adding them. Thank goodness the Lexicon is a living book.’

  She accessed a computer terminal and brought up the Lexicon, then went straight to the index and ran the cursor down. The list was endless and Colin was impressed.

  ‘Of course some of the life forms you’ll find here are still evolving, while others are sub-species and maybe not applicable to your search. You can narrow it down if you want, I’ll show you how,’ she said, and he watched as she brought up the required information.

  Eric entered the library and approached Kyla.

  ‘There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I thought you said you had a headache?’

  ‘I did,’ she replied.

  ‘Then what are you doing here with this Earthman?’

  ‘Well for one thing it’s a lot quieter in here than the mess. You’ve met Colin, I was just showing him how to access the Lexicon,’ Kyla said, defensively.

  ‘So have you finished? Come, let’s go,’ he said, taking hold of her arm.

  She resisted for a moment before realising the gravity of the situation and opted to accompany him back to the mess to avoid any trouble. Eric stared at Colin, daring him to say or do anything before turning to escort her from the room.

  Colin watched them go, helpless to do anything. Still, it had been Kyla’s call. At least now he had a clearer picture of how things were between them. He turned back to the Lexicon and skimmed through it, but it was no use. The night had been sullied. He had made a friend and in the process, an enemy as well. He couldn’t concentrate now if he tried, so he returned to his quarters and turned in for the night.

  Day Two

  After the wake up call on the second day, nobody dared stay overly long in their bunks. For one thing there was too much noise around, plus now there was the threat of being spilled out onto the deck by the Team Leaders. After washing and dressing, the new recruits made their way down to the mess for a feed.

  Colin sat with the others and looked around until he saw Kyla sitting with Eric and the rest of her friends. Their eyes locked briefly before she looked away, but Eric had noticed and openly sneered at him.

  What a prick, Colin thought. It would just be my luck to have him as a pilot. Any of the others would be fine—Jens, Olaf, Anders or Dag, but definitely not Eric, his head was too far up his arse to pilot anything.

  Dave shook his shoulder, ‘You should have been here last night. It was fantastic.’

  ‘What, the picture?’

  ‘Yeah, that was alright, but we had a beer and the hostesses came through.’

  ‘So did you do any good?’

  ‘Queenie gave me a head and neck massage, but I think Barry put the hard word on Phoebe, look at him.’ They all turned to look at Barry and sure enough, he had a smile that couldn’t be wiped off his face as he sat shovelling the last of the cereal into his mouth.

  ‘So are you going to tell us about it?’ Colin asked.

  ‘What’s there to say?’

  ‘Well at least tell us about the tail,’ Dave insisted.

  ‘Yeah, that was wicked,’ Barry confirmed.

  Dave shook his head and gave up, annoyed that he wouldn’t share the details with him.

  ‘You’re just going to have to ask Phoebe,’ Colin said, putting a hand on his shoulder to console him.

  He watched as the pilots vacated the mess after breakfast, particularly Kyla, who flashed him a smile as she passed. Afterwards the new recruits drank coffee and exchanged banter while keeping an eye on the clock above the servery.

  The Colonel strode through the doorway at 0800 hours and made straight for the lectern, followed by his entourage of Captain Jorgen and the Team Leaders.

  He glanced around the mess before speaking.

  ‘Well, I wasn’t wrong—you certainly look the part this morning. I’m certain that you will grow into the role of Weapon Officers over the next few days and when that happens, you will walk and talk a little taller. In a little while we will complete the ‘dehumanising’ aspect of your induction and you will become just another number in the Galactic Legion. As well as being kitted out yesterday you had your medicals, during which our medical staff detected everything from dandruff, tinea and tooth decay, through to brain tumours,’ he said, pausing for effect before continuing.

  ‘Thankfully there was nothing out of the ordinary for an intake this size and the good news is, that everything I’ve just mentioned can and will be addre
ssed. However I want to point out the need for ongoing hygiene maintenance. You will shave and maintain yourselves daily. Failure to do so will invite extreme measures on our part to ensure it’s done. Do I make myself clear?’

  Silence greeted him.

  ‘Do I make myself clear?’ he bellowed.

  ‘Yes, Sir!’ the mess yelled, as one.

  ‘That’s better, now before I hand over to Captain Jorgen, will Mr Pee Wee please come forward and report to me. Thank you, Gentlemen.’ The Colonel stepped away from the lectern to make way for the Captain.

  Everyone in the mess turned to watch Pee Wee. He had thought the Colonel had forgotten him and froze momentarily before rising. He could see the Captain speaking to the others, but couldn’t hear a word. Colin, Dave and the rest followed his progress as he approached the Colonel solemnly. When he reached him the Colonel put an arm about his shoulders and walked him towards the doorway, the two of them deep in conversation. They stopped upon reaching it and Pee Wee nodded his head in understanding before turning to rejoin the others when the Team Leaders called for them to fall in.

  The Leaders handed out ID tags to their charges and told them they were to be worn around their neck at all times. They had the Legion logo as well as their official number and blood type stamped on them. Afterwards they were instructed to return to their seats in preparation for the first lesson.

  Vince took the first lecture and informed them of the pay structure relevant to them. It seemed they would be paid at the same rate as the pilots they flew with. The logic being, that they were two halves of a team and each dependant on the other’s skills for survival and effectiveness. Any monies accrued would be converted to the currency of their homeport and deposited in an account of their choice on completion of their hitch. In the event of death, the money would be paid directly to the next of kin in the guise of an insurance payout, via an agent on Earth. Forms were distributed for that purpose, to be filled in and handed back to the Team Leaders after the lunch break.

  The following lesson was on Rank Structure, starting with the lower ranks and then onto the rank both the pilots and Weapon Officers would share because of the fact they were still untried—that of Sub-Lieutenant. They were instructed on addressing the other ranks and how to conduct themselves—afterwards touching on the senior ranks and the respect that should be shown in their presence.

  The next lesson concerned the correct procedure for communicating, both on the Carrier and in the smaller fighting craft, and was given by Glenn. It seemed that identification was everything. Without knowing the source of a communiqué it was irrelevant to those in receipt of it and thus a complete waste of time.

  The shutters were down on the servery to curtail any distraction from the kitchen while the meals were being prepared and the lesson ended ten minutes before midday to give the new recruits’ time to wash up before the meal. The boys returned to their quarters and opted to wait until the way was clear.

  ‘So what did the Colonel say?’ Dave asked his brother.

  ‘Nothing much,’ Pee Wee replied.

  ‘He said I could train with you fellas until I know about shipboard life and then he’ll find another job for me.’

  ‘Cool,’ said Dave.

  ‘So he’s not letting you fight?’ Colin asked.

  ‘Nah—he reckons I’m too young.’

  ‘You’ll probably be closed up in the spud locker for the duration,’ Tiddles told him.

  ‘I doubt it,’ said Dave, ‘the potatoes around here would be instant, like everything else.’

  The traffic had thinned out so they washed and went back to eat, exchanging banter throughout. When finished, they filled in their next-of-kin forms and designated their mother or father, if still around. It appeared that everyone in the mess had accepted their fate. For certain the Colonel hadn’t given them any reason to complain—everything was catered for including their curiosity, which was steadily building.

  The forms were handed in on commencement of the afternoon’s lessons, the first being on ‘Parts of a Ship’ and given by Tom, another of the Team Leaders. Naturally he used the Carrier they were on as an example, adding that the basic terminology applied to all ships.

  He explained that the Carrier was like a mini-city, consisting of seven decks—the hull being hundreds of metres long and proportionally wide. It was divided into sections for ease of getting about—the forward one being ‘Alpha’ section, the next ‘Bravo’ and so on throughout the alphabet. It was the same with the decks—the main one being the lowest and designated ‘Seven Deck’, the next ‘Six Deck’ and so on, up to the ‘First’ or ‘Gallery Deck’ that overlooked the hangars.

  Tom drew the plan of the Carrier on the whiteboard behind the lectern and turned back to his attentive class, ‘So if I asked someone to point out ‘Three Deck Tango’, you all should know where that is, right? Is there anyone who doesn’t?’ One hand went into the air, so it was pointed out and gone over again.

  At the end of the lesson it was explained that all aspects of shipboard life could be viewed in the library by looking up the relevant subject in ‘Ships of the Legion’.

  The next lesson was a quick one on terminology and given by Nigel. He explained that onboard ships, the walls and ceiling were called bulkheads and the floor was the deck. So what someone on Three Deck might call a bulkhead, the person above would call Two Deck. The kitchen became a galley and the toilet, the Heads.

  He discussed the port and starboard sides of a ship next. ‘The left-hand side of a ship is the port side, and the right-side the starboard. These terms are all relevant in finding your way around the ship or duty rosters and most importantly, in communicating the position of an enemy to your pilot,’ the Team Leader informed them, ‘although that aspect will be fully covered in your weapons training.’

  Other parts of the ship were gone over as well. Some terminologies like the Bridge were still applicable, while others like abaft and abeam were more archaic and seldom used. The openings between decks became hatches and the passageways now corridors.

  When the Team Leaders were satisfied the lessons had been absorbed, the recruits were told to report to the gym in training gear by 1500 hours. Once there they were put through a vigorous set of exercises designed to get the blood pumping through their veins after so much inactivity. They stayed on another hour before being dismissed.

  When free of the tyranny of their leaders the excitement that had been building within the recruits bubbled over as they talked amongst themselves about the things on their mind. For some it was the lessons and for others the activities in the mess that night, while for a few it was the prospect of the next day—this one already being shot. The shower and locker rooms were congested, so once again the boys opted to rest on their bunks until the traffic eased.

  ‘What’s on at the movies tonight?’ Barry asked.

  ‘Who cares, I’m going anyway,’ Dave said, and Colin smiled knowingly.

  ‘What about you, are you coming tonight?’ Tiddles asked.

  ‘I might be along later,’ Colin replied.

  Their quarters started to fill again, which meant the congestion in the locker rooms had eased, so the boys went to shower and change before going back to the mess for a feed.

  Kyla was already there with her friends and Colin watched her throughout the meal, looking away whenever he thought he was compromised. There was something about her—maybe it was her stark beauty or the lingering memory of her perfume. Whatever it was, she seemed to occupy his mind. For her part she never looked at him once and kept Eric involved in conversation throughout, although the others did look Colin’s way every now and then. He silently chided himself and decided then and there, that if this thing with Kyla ever became too much he would whisper in Queenie’s ear—or else one of the other hostesses.

  When the others returned to watch the film that night Colin opted to visit the planetarium again—the library would’ve been too congested. He followed the green deck li
ghting as far as the chairs and saw Kyla’s reflection glowing green on the armoured glass.

  ‘You’re looking beautiful tonight,’ he told her, as he sat opposite.

  ‘Why thank you, Earthman.’

  ‘Tut tut, you know my name.’

  ‘Sorry, it’s just that I don’t want to encourage you or send the wrong message.’

  ‘Then you’ll have to stop wearing that scent of yours. I’m afraid it sends out a different signal altogether.’

  Kyla frowned, ‘Do you think so?’

  ‘It’s very overpowering. It will probably lead Eric right to you.’

  ‘Hopefully not, I told him I need space. You can’t work with someone all day and still enjoy their company of a night time as well—it’s a bit overwhelming.’

  ‘Tell me, how come there is only one female pilot?’ Colin asked.

  ‘I told you, I was a tomboy. I bested them at their own game, so they had to accept me. Normally Zylon females are more effeminate and disposed towards motherhood and the arts.’

  ‘And you’re not?’

  ‘I suppose I might be, if I get through this thing and meet someone worthy enough. What about your contingent, there are no females at all?’

  A smile spread across Colin’s face.

  ‘Evidently Earth women are not as mad as you. Could you imagine your pilots going into battle with a female Weapons Officer aboard? They would freeze up or be too busy applying lipstick to worry about such things.’

  Kyla laughed at his reply.

  ‘So are you looking forward to tomorrow?’

  ‘Sure, everyone is. So far we’ve been confined to this ship—it’s going to be liberating in so many ways. We finally get to go out into the wild black yonder for a joy flight in one of those small fighters,’ Colin said, pointing to the darkness of space on the other side of the viewing glass.

  Kyla followed his gaze, ‘I doubt if it will be anything like that. My bet is they’ll park this thing above some desolate planet and practice using the light of its sun. But what I really meant to say was, aren’t you looking forward to meeting the pilot that you’ll be working with for the duration?’