Sideshow Alley Read online

  Colin yawned and stretched lazily as he held the vision of his Green Goddess from the night before, while all around him the other fighters dressed hurriedly and scurried forth to the mess. When through the servery and seated with a meal, he looked over to her and smiled as the crews about them ate while they could. Afterwards the five friends shook hands again over coffee, not knowing if they would all make it back. Looking about there were crews at each table doing the same thing right up until the siren scrambled them.

  Red Alpha was first out of the mess. They raced down the corridor and up to the hangars above to mount their craft in readiness for battle. Kyla’s craft swayed impatiently as they waited for the drones to be deployed. The light turned green and then in the space of a second they were out and going under. Colin activated the VDU and selected the Battle Screen as the rest of the squadron formed up—the Lizards were already on their way as they had no drones to wait for.

  Kyla led them away as Delta squadron spilled from above. The enemy fighters were in a tight formation as before, so Colin gave his orders, ‘Stagger formation now, load proximity and wait for my command. Remember, I want a second salvo from all wings ASAP afterwards,’ he said, and waited until the last possible moment before giving the order to fire.

  The area surrounding the leading Lizard fighters erupted in a wall of orange flame and smoke that disappeared seconds later in the vacuum of space. The enemy fighters raced to escape the melee and reformed in depleted wings, only to be blasted a second time.

  The remaining enemy were hopelessly outnumbered and fired rockets and laser indiscriminately in an attempt to atone for their loss.

  Colin spoke to the squadron again, ‘Be careful, but make it quick. Phoebe’s waiting.’

  The first salvo had accounted for seven of the enemy, with a further five in the second—nearly half the enemy down already without a single loss to themselves. What happened next was a bloodbath, the Legion fighters able to rise above to swamp any efforts by the Lizard craft and blast them at will. From the reports on the battle-radio the other squadrons were enjoying similar success. Finally when the enemy fighters were down to six in Alpha’s quadrant they withdrew, with Kyla in hot pursuit. Colin downed another before it came into range of the Carrier itself and Alpha squadron watched on as other stragglers limped back, moments before it jumped back into hyperspace.

  Once the battle-field was cleared the squadrons returned to the Carrier. While they waited for the others to go aboard Kyla switched the radio off for a moment and spoke to her Weapons Officer, ‘So you’re going back to see Phoebe.’

  Colin laughed, ‘No, Queenie. I’ve never been hornier than in her cabin last night.’

  ‘Me too,’ she confided.

  When down again Colin waited while Kyla checked the craft for damage and then walked back with her.

  ‘So how did we go, were there any casualties?’

  ‘No, there haven’t been any reports that I’m aware of.’

  They looked at the different craft as they passed them. A group of technicians were clustered around one as they tested its circuitry, while the hangar staff went about re-arming the others. The P.A. came alive to issue a ‘Well done’ and announced a debriefing for all personnel at 1300 hours. The two walked out of the hangar, pausing for a moment to steal a kiss before parting and going back to their own quarters.

  The first thing Colin noticed on entering his was the noise. It was a symptomatic outpouring of relief as the fighters all tried to speak at once. Dave, Barry, Jimmy and Tiddles were already there.

  ‘So how did it go? Did we have any casualties?’ Colin asked. They shook their heads, broad smiles etched across their faces.

  ‘You should have seen it,’ Pee Wee said, excitedly, ‘way better than last time!’

  An announcement came over the P.A.

  ‘All One Red Weapon Officers to Battle Command Four Deck Golf. All One Red Weapon Officers to Battle Command Four Deck Golf, now please.’

  Colin and Tiddles raced away, with the other Red Ones in hot pursuit.

  The Colonel waited patiently as they filed in and stood before him and the other Battle Command staff.

  ‘Well,’ he said, ‘it’s hard to believe that you are the same people that graced this room less than a week ago. You look different and I’ll bet you feel different, too. Well done Gentlemen, the day is yours!’

  He paced up and down and then stopped in front of Mitch, ‘So how many did you lose today?’

  Mitch looked at him aghast, ‘None, Sir!’

  ‘Excellent. And how did you accomplish that?’

  ‘We went in with a plan Sir, and concentrated our fire to deplete the enemy before we engaged.’

  The Colonel moved on and turned to address them all, ‘Today you have all learnt an important lesson and were able to return with all of your fighters intact—a feat not many can claim. Unfortunately for us the Lizards will be revising their formations and methods of attack as we speak, so when you meet them next time you may not have it all your own way. What you will find is that you’ll have to constantly devise new strategies to counter theirs—however I don’t think you will forget this lesson in a hurry.’

  The Colonel went to turn away before adding, ‘You’ll also find that the Lizards have a long memory and as well as hunting drones, they love nothing better than targeting Red Leaders—so beware. Once again on behalf of the staff here at Battle Command and all of the ship’s company, we thank you Gentlemen. That will be all!’

  The Colonel grabbed Colin’s arm as he passed, ‘Stay a moment. You know Captain Jorgen and the Team Leaders?’

  Colin acknowledged them and offered his hand to the Captain.

  ‘I read your pilot record, it’s quite impressive.’

  ‘Thank you,’ the Captain said, ‘but all due to my Weapons Officer, I assure you.’

  The Colonel pointed to another, ‘This is Major Tobrek and over here we have Admiral Jaeger.’

  Colin nodded to the Admiral, a silver-haired Zylon who was comfortably ensconced in a large chair overlooking the various tables and screens. The Colonel went to the locker to fetch the bottle of Prathkos spirits and five glasses, then half-filled them before handing them around to the Officers.

  ‘Here’s to victory,’ he said, and drained his glass. Colin sipped his, taking several to finish.

  ‘Well, you did it! You’ve melded them,’ the Colonel said.

  ‘For now—once we start taking a few more hits morale will start to flag,’ Colin conceded.

  ‘It doesn’t matter, you’ve got what it takes and that’s all that matters.’

  ‘You’re the one with all the experience. If I need to, can I ask your advice?’

  ‘Feel free, that’s what I’m here for.’

  ‘Okay, thanks,’ Colin said, then turning to the Admiral he acknowledged him with a ‘Sir’ and raised his hand to the others as he left.

  Eric kept staring over at Colin at lunchtime. The others sitting with him noticed, including Kyla.

  ‘What’s up?’ she asked.

  Eric looked at her forlornly, ‘He’s going to get you killed—you know that, don’t you?’

  ‘It won’t be his fault if it happens, we’re both Alpha and it goes with the territory. You better hope that we don’t go or it will be you in the slot,’ she told him.

  At 1300 hours the Colonel strode through the doorway, followed by Captain Jorgen. He went to the lectern and turned to survey the faces before him.

  ‘I believe congratulations are in order. Today you did what the Reliance and others before her couldn’t do. You whipped the Lizards in their own backyard. You, the fighters of the Redemption are now ‘Top Dog’, but beware—they will be throwing everything at us in an attempt to knock us from our perch. As well as going into the record books as one of the quickest, most decisive and casualty-free engagements in years, the battle will also be remembered for one other thing. Can anybody tell me what that is?’

  He looked around at the
sea of blank faces, ‘No? Alright, I’ll tell you then. It will go on record for the battle commands given! I refer of course to, Be careful but make it quick. Phoebe’s waiting!’ The Colonel paused for effect as a ripple of laughter emanated from the crew.

  ‘Maybe next time you can take Phoebe with you and throw her at the enemy. I hear tell she’s quite fond of the occasional Lizard.’

  More laughter erupted. He waited until it had died down before going on, ‘We will be staying in this System until relieved or the Lizards bite back. We don’t know when that will be, but rest assured we will be on high alert until then, so keep up the good work. For anyone interested, footage of today’s battle will be shown after the film tonight and will no doubt feature on our Carriers all over the Galaxy. Beer will be rationed at one per-man per-day—otherwise everything will be as normal.’

  The Colonel looked over to Colin and asked, ‘Did you wish to add anything?’

  Colin went forward and spoke briefly, ‘Only to add my congratulations for a job well done and that I’ll speak to the Squadron Leaders, both fighters and pilots at 0800 tomorrow. Thank you, that is all.’

  Colin turned back to the Colonel, ‘Is it likely that the Lizards will attack at night?’

  His answer was a resounding, ‘No! They haven’t got the drones to rely on like us.’

  ‘That’s what I thought, so you expect them to come in the light of day?’

  ‘I do. Is that all?’

  ‘Yes. Thank you Sir,’ Colin said, and watched as the two Officers departed.

  Kyla joined him, ‘What did you have in mind?’

  ‘I don’t know yet, perhaps you can help me. What sort of formations did you learn in pilot training?’

  ‘We touched on most of the classic manoeuvres,’ she assured him.

  ‘Good. What we need to do now is study them and work out a defence for each one.’

  ‘You’re doing all that before tomorrow morning?’

  ‘No, I’ll get a copy from the library and work on them with the others tomorrow. That way they’ll learn and contribute to the process.’

  ‘While leaving you free to socialise tonight,’ she said, smiling.

  They left the mess together and headed for the library. Kyla only went as far as the first cul-de-sac and pulled Colin in. She kissed him passionately and left him to continue his journey alone.

  There was a full turnout in the mess that evening, even though it was rather dry. Four distinct groups emerged—there were the poker players and moviegoers, while Sami held court as he etched the latest battle onto willing flesh. The rest of the flight-crews stood around talking while the hostesses stalked their next victims.

  One of the things that came from conversation with the older fighters was the practice of rotation. It was custom to rotate ships serving at the front—news that was well received from those around. It gave them something to cling to.

  ‘So when do they take it from?’ Colin asked.

  ‘A month from your first engagement,’ one of the older fighters replied.

  ‘And where do they go?’

  ‘Usually to the closest Legion Resort for a bit of R and R. Two weeks of pure bliss.’

  Phoebe grabbed Colin on seeing him and kissed his cheek. She was over the moon when told of her growing reputation. Now as well as tatts of her dispersed around the Legion’s ships, her name would be on their lips as well, thus elevating her status among the ranks of the other hostesses.

  Her tail twitched non-stop as it worked its way up the inside of his leg to flail around his crotch as she wantonly offered her services to him. Those around erupted in laughter, even Kyla and the pilots with her as he gracefully declined, saying he didn’t want to offend Queenie by going off with someone else. She was disappointed and left with another of the willing participants around.

  When the film ended everyone in the room stopped what they were doing to watch the screen. Even the hostesses magically reappeared to watch the clips of the battle that day, gasping with the rest of them at the clinical despatching of Lizards from all quarters of the battlefield. Afterwards the talking resumed while Sami and the hostesses took on the last customers for the night.

  Colin left the mess alone and Kyla followed ten minutes later. He was waiting for her in the planetarium and kissed her hungrily when she joined him.

  ‘I see Phoebe has really stirred you up,’ she said.

  ‘It’s that tail of hers—it really does things to a man.’

  ‘If only I had that effect on men.’

  Colin nuzzled her neck, overwhelmed by the perfume there.

  ‘I don’t think you have to worry too much,’ he told her.

  Biding Time

  Colin addressed the think-tank of Squadron Leaders after breakfast the next day. He gave them printouts of the various enemy formations and asked that they discuss them to come up with a counter-measure for each.

  ‘What about other possibilities?’ Eric asked.

  ‘How do you mean?’

  ‘Why do they have to go through all four quadrants? If they want you bad enough, they might all come through Alpha’s quadrant and swamp it.’

  Colin stopped what he was doing and stared at Eric, ‘Has it ever been done before?’

  Eric nodded, ‘It was a slaughter, I believe. The Lizards roared through the remaining battle areas and won the day.’

  ‘Are there any other such tactics they might use?’ Colin asked, but there was no reply. ‘Okay, we’ll concentrate on that one first. Can we change the way the drones are deployed?’

  ‘We shouldn’t have to, Battle Command will see them coming and have replacements at the ready,’ Eric confirmed.

  Tiddles stood listening to the enormity of it as did the others.

  ‘So if one is blasted, they would move another across,’ Colin said, logically, ‘what formation did the Lizards fly in, can you remember?’

  ‘It was tight, just wave after wave of wings, but they may try to stagger it after the last fiasco. I think it was the Resolve in the Battle of Ardis.’

  Colin wrote down the reference and handed it to Kyla, who rushed off to the library. He drew the scenario on the whiteboard.

  ‘What we need is an option that is radical enough to turn the tables on them. You have half an hour, Gentlemen,’ he said, before turning to stare at the diagram. Kyla returned with hard copies that confirmed the original tight formation and distributed them amongst those present.

  Colin watched Eric and Tiddles with interest as they honed their idea. Eric held a pencil up to one side of a notebook and peeled it away as a squadron might leave the underbelly of a Carrier, the next one he dropped down—then up and over.

  ‘Any luck so far?’ Kyla asked Colin.

  ‘I think so, we’ll find out soon enough.’

  He looked at his watch and then turned to face the others, ‘Well, have we got anything? And remember, these are all hypothetical at this stage.’

  Eric stepped forward, the only one to have come up with a possible solution.

  ‘We may have something, but it relies on advance warning from Battle Command before we deploy, otherwise our momentum would be lost.’

  ‘Don’t worry—they’ll inform us of anything out of the ordinary. So what have you got?’

  ‘It’s only in its infancy and requires Alpha Squadron to deploy as usual, while the other squadrons go under and then right over the Carrier to come out on top of the Lizards to strafe them. Perhaps Juliet can go behind and use rockets on what we miss.’

  ‘Alternatively, Juliet could climb into the sun and surprise the Lizards when they retaliate,’ Tiddles added.

  Colin applied the counter-measures to the scenario on the whiteboard and stood back to view them. It appeared that Eric had really come through. He studied it a few minutes longer before turning to face them.

  ‘Alpha Squadron should be able to account for a few. Another option would be for Alpha One to draw some away, while others will try to knock out the drone.�
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  ‘What do you mean?’ Eric asked.

  ‘Their preliminary targets will be Alpha One and the drone, so we could go to one side while the rest of Alpha squadron turn back and play for time.’

  ‘That would be sheer madness. You’d be killed!’

  ‘And maybe not,’ Colin countered, ‘remember, it’s only speculation at this point.’

  ‘But surely you wouldn’t do that to your pilot!’ Eric demanded.

  ‘I wouldn’t even contemplate doing it myself if I didn’t have the best pilot available, and there is the squadron to consider.’

  ‘Don’t worry Eric—the plan needs finetuning and besides, it may never eventuate,’ Kyla reminded him.

  ‘Okay, that’s enough for now. We’ll meet again at 1300 hours and have a look at counter measures for the other formations. Thank you,’ Colin said, dismissing them. He went to the whiteboard and started to clean it as the others dispersed.

  Kyla approached, ‘You’re too good a shot to let anything happen to us,’ she said.

  ‘I wish. If a rocket is out there with our name on it, there is no way in hell I could stop it. Tell me, why do they always fight in four sectors in the first place?’

  ‘It’s because the Lizards and Legion have the same size Carriers. They each carry four squadrons, plus spares. The Lizards always send their squadrons in different directions in the hope that one will get through and attack our Carrier.’

  ‘Have they ever downed one?’ Colin asked.

  ‘But of course! If you try hard enough, anything is possible.’

  Colin dwelt on the fact a moment.

  ‘I was also thinking about the volleyball games we had in training. They were a bit lopsided and seemed to favour the pilots. How about we ask the various wings to nominate their best player and have a grudge match?’ he suggested.

  ‘So you think my team won the competition by default?’ Kyla asked, surprised.

  ‘Not at all, that was a competition amongst wings and the best girl won,’ he assured her, ‘but it would create a bit of excitement for the crews—what do you think?’

  She smiled, ‘Okay, I’ll organise it. Who were you thinking of nominating?’